Tales from the White Art

"The Why Tart?" I said. "I do not rate for question-marks as an ingredient in desserts; or indeed any other kind of punctuation mark. Colons and exclamation marks trigger my Irritable Vowel Syndrome. It brings to mind a Keat-and-Chapman story..."

SHUT UP SMUT, said tigris and Another Kiwi. They reminded me that we have covered the White Art previously. Apparently it an artform using the medium of suet or Lard.

The Riddled editorial team are still arguing as to whether this topic will feature in sufficiently many future posts to warrant its own 'LOLlard' label.

In time gone by the treatment of the Lard was expressly sculptural, but definitions have broadened, and White Art practice now includes more conceptual manipulations, e.g. firing arrows into a viking's abdomen.
However, I am old-fashioned and when invitations of this nature turn up in the Spam Tray I still think it is cheating to colour the lard for the appearance of skin and hair and eyes.

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"My mathematical career is ruined," sobbed Chapman. "My 180-page proof of the Goldbach Conjecture, destroyed! The cook saw the fancy punctuation peppering the pages and thought they must be intended for culinary use! All that special typography -- the six different fonts to mark all the special symbols, including Ogham and Glagolitic -- is under a pie-crust now! How am I going to explain this to the Tenure Committee?"

"The proof is in the pudding," Keats intoned.