Friday, April 7, 2017

By salamander, drake, and the power that was undine #2

I warned Another Kiwi not to tune the Morphogenic Flux Intensifier to Elron Hubbard's "Dianetics" dumbth but did he listen? DID HE BOGROLL.

The first outcome was Vendramini's TEEM theory of which you are no doubt aware, perhaps by reading about it in Riddled. Unaware that his train of thought was following ruts in the morphogenic field, Vendramini unwittingly recreated Hubbard's bafflegab -- we all inherit ancestral neuroses, our minds are engrained with pre-incarnation memories that must be discharged through catharsis if we are to ascend the escalator of Clear.

Thus the ruts were worn deeper and it was inevitable that Doctors Blum and Badgaiyan would invent their own version of ancestral vices. Now the memories are stored by epigenetics... the cause of (and the solution to) all of life's little problems:


Just look at the resulting clown-car of wibble. It is as crazy as a Carlsbad-Cavernful of guano from rabid chiropterans. It is as if Klaus Kinski ravaged the Sokal Hoax and impregnated it with a baby of gibbering bug-eyed star-craving nescience, ideally played by Udo Kier. This paper-shaped piñata of FAIL appeared at Neuroquantology (a journal where unpublished Persinger papers go to die), where Neuroskeptic took a good whack at it and great was the deluge of plagiarism and derp.
Evidently the authors have watched a Deepak Chopra derpspirational YouTuber talk and therefore fancy themselves as experts in quantum theory and superstrings and relativity, although they have never grappled wth the terms of a Hartree-Fock approximation nor could they model a SU(2) gauge field on an inhomogeneous spatial lattice if the life of Schrödinger's Cat depended on it. I guess that level is all that's required to write for Neuroquantology. At least there can be no doubting the authors' grasp of the 'neuro' side, for the third author boasts of his unique expertise in the field of Electroceuticals. Though they are under the impression that anticholinergic alkaloids like scopolamine and atropine give Mandragora "extreme aphrodisiac powers", so I do not plan to attend their parties.
Aphrodisiac effects
But there is good news to be found in the prodigious output of self-promotions artisanally-assembled in the Blum-Badgaiyan workshop. For below, Blum & Badgaiyan assure us that we can pass on positive epigenetic engrams to our descendents, making up for our genetic inadequacy. Especially engrams created by using their proprietory brain-feeding diet supplement, KB220z! In fact the assurance is two-fold, for the authors were so impressed with how well they had phrased their self-congratulatory paper that they paid two different predatory journals to publish it:

1. The OMICS grifters, operating under the name 'esciencecentral'' in an understandable attempt to hide from their bottom-feeding reputation;
Thus, we are proposing for the first time ever an holistictherapeutic model for RDS which includes GARS (diagnostic); CARD (outcome measure) and KB220 ( prolonged D2 agonist therapy) along with 12 step fellowship and other holistic modalities (e.g. low glycemic index diet; yoga, meditation etc.) known to naturally release neuronal dopamine.
Can we overcome DNA polymorphisms by promoting positive epigenetic effects which can be transferred from generation to generation [57]? With this in mind we wonder if we have been “licking our pups” enough, so that we could potentially attenuate substance and non-substance seeking- behaviors through love-understanding that “love needs care” [58,59].
2. Those lovable scamps at 'Peertechz'.
Thus, we are proposing for the first time ever a holistic-therapeutic model for RDS which includes GARS (diagnostic); CARD (outcome measure) and KB220 ( prolonged D2 agonist therapy) along with 12 step fellowship and other holistic modalities (e.g. low glycemic index diet; yoga, meditation etc.) known to naturally release neuronal dopamine [35].
The unanswered question is can we overcome DNA polymorphisms by promoting positive epigenetic effects which can be transferred from generation to generation [39]. We have been "licking our pups" enough? Could we possibly attenuate substance and non-substance seeking- behaviors through love?
Here at Riddled Research Laboratory we have had success treating ancestral engrams with the 'Psychoplasmics' method pioneered by Dr Raglan... which is to say, we lock the customers in the Evolvamat and twiddle the dials until they catharsise the inherited neuroses physically, manifesting them as bodily extrusions. The Riddled laboratory is now overrun with these little embodied gremlins of neurosis, capering around underfoot and farting like imps in the margins of a medieval manuscript, but it is a small price to pay.
Meanwhile our rivals over at McGravitas Laboratory treat Ancestral Vices with "debirthing therapy", which is undoubtedly effective although there is little return custom. But both alternatives are surely preferable to some $cientology gobshite with an e-meter.

1 comment:

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Vendramini unwittingly recreated Hubbard's bafflegab -- we all inherit ancestral neuroses, our minds are engrained with pre-incarnation memories that must be discharged through catharsis if we are to ascend the escalator of Clear.

Is there a homeopathic remedy for Thetans?