Monday, January 31, 2011

Invisible Hands revealed

Here at Riddled we are acknowledged experts in the field of rehabilitating disembodied hands. However, the contract to retrain the Invisible Hands of the Market -- signed with the Department of Corrections, Erasers and Condign Use of Wite-Out -- is not progressing well. They are showing no interest in adopting any form of socially-productive labour.

Part of the problem is the whole not-being-seen business; these hands think they can get away with anything. We tried flinging around a few bags of flour to cling to the hands and expose their escapades -- this worked so well in The Saliva Tree -- but the characters of The Saliva Tree did not have to deal with Evangeline Van Holsteren, head barwoman at the Old Entomologist, who looks askance at flour-related activities.

So instead we have taken a leaf from the orb-photography people's book and invested in motion-detecting infra-red cameras around the place.
Well this first photograph is not a good look: the hands are all flashing gang signs and spelling out rude words in British Sign alphabet. I can only hope that the Department of Corrections, Erasers and Condign Use of Wite-Out does not catch wind of this. The scene does not greatly resemble the feel-good artist's rendition that featured in our tender for the contract.

8 comments:

Another Kiwi said...

Woo Hoo the "Many Hands make light work of wallets" contract with Wringling brothers Circus looks like it's going to go ahead. April in Paree for us, Smut

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

A leaf here and a leaf there, and pretty soon there's not much of a book left for The People.

I tell you, The Man is at it again. With his Man Hands.
~

guitarist manqué said...

Ms Van Holsterin probably knows about flour bombs which are lots of fun for everybody except whoever owns the building.

http://www.google.com/search?aq=0&oq=flour+ex&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&q=flour+explosion

Substance McGravitas said...

There's still fun to be had. Give them watches and drinks and then ask them what time it is.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

The U.S. Department of Justice has a task force to prevent the sex trafficking of invisible, disembodied hands during Superbowl week- the unseen epidemic.

Smut Clyde said...

Disembodied hands, confused.

mikey said...

I had another look
And I had a cup of tea
And Butter Pie.
BUTTERPIE!
__________

(Fill in the blank)

mikey said...

Dammit.

It appears I forgot one whole entire line about non-melting butter and it's uses.

Quickly. More Sailor Jerry's.

STAT!